Foolproof Tips For Writing Terrible Fiction

Writing fiction can be a challenging task. Crafting a captivating story with engaging characters, compelling dialogue, and a well-structured plot is no easy feat. However, for those brave souls who wish to embark on a unique writing journey, we present to you the foolproof tips for writing terrible fiction.

1. Overload on Clichés

Clichés are the bread and butter of terrible fiction. Avoid any originality and rely heavily on overused phrases and expressions. Ensure that every character speaks like a Hollywood stereotype and populates their conversations with tired clichés at every opportunity. Your readers will appreciate the lack of effort.

2. Forget About Grammar

Proper grammar and sentence structure are essential in creating coherent and polished writing. However, if you want to produce terrible fiction, ignore all known grammar rules. Misplace commas, confuse tenses, and sprinkle your sentences with misspelled words. Your readers will hurriedly abandon your work in frustration – a sure sign of terrible fiction.

Write More Badly: 7 Foolproof Tips for Writing Terrible Fiction

by Elmore Rounbottom(Kindle Edition)

4.4 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	846 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Print length	:	17 pages
Lending	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported

FREE

3. One-Dimensional Characters Only

Complex and multi-dimensional characters are the core of compelling fiction. However, in your pursuit of writing terrible fiction, create characters that lack depth and personality. Make them predictable, flat, and devoid of any emotions or complexities. Your readers will struggle to connect with such lifeless beings.

4. Plot? Who Needs It?

The absence of a coherent plot distinguishes terrible fiction from masterpieces. Disregard the need for a well-structured narrative and instead create a series of disjointed events that lack any central goal or purpose. Leave your readers baffled and disappointed as they try to make sense of your plotless story.

5. Tackling Every Topic, All at Once

Avoid focusing on one central theme or idea. Instead, throw in every imaginable topic and try to address them all within a single piece of fiction. Jump between genres, introduce unrelated conflicts, and confuse your readers to the point of utter frustration. Terrible fiction is all about overwhelming your audience.

6. Purple Prose Galore

When it comes to terrible fiction, using excessive, flowery language is key. Bombard your readers with overly descriptive sentences that serve no purpose other than to show off your vocabulary. Make sure to include long, convoluted paragraphs that offer no substance or contribute to the overall story. Your readers will be thrilled to decipher such unnecessary prose.

7. Rushing Through Editing and Proofreading

Editing and proofreading are vital stages in the writing process. However, for those aiming to write terrible fiction, hastily skip through these steps. Let your spelling errors, plot holes, and inconsistencies remain prominently displayed throughout your work. Your readers will be left questioning your attention to detail.

8. Lackluster Dialogue

Engaging dialogue is crucial in any well-written piece of fiction. However, in terrible fiction, dialogue should be dull and devoid of authenticity. Make your characters speak in monotone, generic phrases that lack any hint of personality. Stray away from natural speech patterns and inject as much uninteresting banter as possible.

9. Ignoring Feedback and Criticism

Receiving feedback and criticism is an opportunity for growth and improvement. However, as a writer of terrible fiction, disregard any form of critique. Continue writing in the same flawed manner and refuse to learn from your mistakes. This way, your terrible fiction will remain consistently poor.

10. Abandoning Any Form of Originality

Originality is the enemy of terrible fiction. Shun any creative ideas and instead cling to well-worn tropes and storylines that have been repeatedly used. Avoid innovation and rely on the predictable and clichéd. Your readers will quickly become bored and disinterested in your writing.

With these foolproof tips, you are well on your way to writing terrible fiction. Remember, the goal is to create a piece of work that lacks depth, coherence, and originality. Embrace clichés, disregard grammar, and confuse your readers with lackluster characters and plotless stories. By following these tips, you'll be sure to produce fiction that your readers will remember – for all the wrong reasons.

Write More Badly: 7 Foolproof Tips for Writing Terrible Fiction

by Elmore Rounbottom(Kindle Edition)

4.4 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	846 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Print length	:	17 pages
Lending	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported

FREE

The first ebook to ever sell out is finally back in stock!!!

So you’ve finally finished that novel. You edited it using the spell checker in Microsoft Word, and you paid your six year old niece five dollars to design a cover in Paint. Congratulations. Now you’re ready to publish it to the Kindle Store and begin raking in those scathing reviews.

Or are you?

Chances are that despite your best efforts, that book in your hands is still only mediocre. How are you expected to compete with the thousands of inexpertly written books published ahead of your own? Sure, mediocre is good, but terrible would be better.

I’m Dr. Elmore Rounbottom. With the rising popularity of ebooks I have observed a growing number of authors looking to hastily publish the lowest quality fiction they were capable of. And while there are many instructional guides on how to improve the quality of your writing, the one Google search I performed didn’t find a single book devoted to the intricate art of writing more badly.

So for the past hour and a half I’ve devoted my powerful doctor brain to analyzing exactly what steps you can take to ensure your book is excruciating to read. The tips in this book have been almost nearly scientifically proven to take your book from a barely passable piece of fiction to the worst bit of literature in the history of the English language.

Topics of discussion include:

What is a Plot and Why Don’t I Need One?
Cutting Characters Out of Cardboard
Just How Excessively Should I Use Adverbs?
The Limitless Power of Exclamation Points!!!
And much more.

By following the simple steps outlined in this book you’ll soon be crafting prose capable of gagging a Vogon. Those one star reviews don’t write themselves, you know.

Please note: There are actually 8 tips in this book, but since the cover was already done I couldn't change the title without paying my niece another five dollars.

Praise for Write More Badly:

“This is the best book I’ve ever read.” - Someone who’s never read another book.

“I was up all night reading this book.” - An insomniac

“This book should be made into a movie.” - A person with poor taste in movies

“This book is better than the Bible.” - An atheist

“There was nothing in this book that I don’t already know.” - Someone who writes badly

“Even my family and friends gave my book a one-star review!” - Someone who actually applied the tips in this book.

And be sure to download the audio version narrated by Mike Tyson!